


Wishes I Made Are Too Vicious To Tell

by Hibisha



Category: K (Anime)
Genre: Angst, Character Death, M/M, Romance, Strain AU, a bit of humor
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-08
Updated: 2017-07-07
Packaged: 2018-07-22 07:40:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 10,155
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7426024
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hibisha/pseuds/Hibisha
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I wish I had never met you."</p><p>In a world where everything was perfect, something was missing - Yata Misaki discovers that one must be careful with what they wish for or they just might end up with more than what they hoped.</p><p>Caught within a puzzle of his own memories and with everyone and everything he cared about hanging precariously on the line, he faces the most important decision of his life - should he hold on or let go?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Wishes I Made

**Author's Note:**

> And here is my contribution for this years Sarumi Fest! :D I hope you all enjoy it!
> 
> Post-ROK, after Misaki and Fushimi had their "talk".
> 
> Or scream fest which ever way you wanna call it. XD

"I'm sorry, what did you just say?" Misaki Yata stared at his boss in surprise. Sakurai Matsuko, the owner of a local family restaurant, gave him a grim smile.

"I'm sorry Yata-san but the current economical conditions have made me cut back on a lot of expenses and I had to let quite a few employees go." Misaki nodded numbly, muting out the rest of the man's explanations in order to do some quick mental math. In all honesty, he should have seen this coming months ago. The destruction of the Slates had actually made a huge blow to the Japanese economy and a lot of people were suffering because of it.

His rent was due in two weeks and with this job gone, he had approximately.....three days so as to find a new one or he'd have to find a new apartment.

His landlord was a nice man but he had once been swindled out of a lot of money so he had not been kind in that department.

He also couldn't bend his pride and ask his friends for financial help- not that it had anything to do with his pride. The reasons were leaning more towards the whole 'they were more broke than he was.'

Except of course one friend.

But Misaki decided he rather sell his organs than ask _Fushimi Saruhiko_ for help. No, he liked not being mocked every waking second of his life - and non waking, that bastard probably could appear in his dreams - actually did in fact appear quite frequently, in highly improbable situations which left the young skater have to deal with a very _very_ cold shower in the morning.

His life was a fucking joke.

Lugging his body in the direction of his next part time, he wondered where he could sell his kidney. He had two and people could definitely live on just one right?

Yup, he could definitely survive on just one.

"Ne Misaki, if you sink any lower, you'll disappear. You're already short enough so stop slouching, Mi-sa-ki."

Actually, scratch that. He should just sell both his kidneys and die.

"Saru shut up." The younger raised his eyebrow slightly, clicking his tongue and Misaki once again wondered what God had created the man before him because it sure wasn't the same one who had created the rest of humanity because how on earth was that guy so unearthly beautiful?

His other explanation was that Saruhiko was actually an alien come to take over the world with his pretty blue eyes and somehow got cut off from the rest of his planet or something and thus was always in such a sour mood.

But that was a bit far fetched so he kept it to himself.

Also, he didn't want to suddenly wake up in an alien ship, strapped to a dissection table because he had 'figured out the master plan.' Plus the idea of a whole planet filled with Fushimi's was a little nerve wrecking and terrifying. Sort of like his worst nightmare come to life...or quite possibly his wildest dream - okay no brain, stop that trail of thought.

Also, Saruhiko was now looking at him strangely, seemingly quite worried so he should probably respond.

Problem was, he had missed what the other had said.

"Bagels." Ah yes-the answer that solves everything.

_Smooth move Yatagarasu._

Maybe _he_ was the alien.

"You think bagels are the reason there's a so many Scepter 4 personals around?" It was quite possible Saruhiko was planning on calling Kusanagi-san to ask him if Misaki had hit head on something. Hard.

Oh crap. He needed to diffuse the situation now!

"NO! I WAS WONDERING HOW MUCH BOTH MY KIDNEYS COULD SELL FOR!"

Open mouth, insert foot. Trip and fall and die.

_Thank you universe._

"Misaki are you feeling alright?" Saruhiko tried to keep his voice flat and emotionless but Misaki could detect the tell-a-tale signs of worry laced into it. Misaki's shoulders drooped down in defeat. Well might as well come clean now otherwise the overthinking idiot was going to blow everything out of proportion.

"I just got fired." he mumbled. The other's face went from confusion to understanding in seconds.

"Ah-I see." The redhead couldn't help but shoot the blue clansman a glare who smirked at him slightly.

_Don't look down on me you fucking bureaucrat. Not all of us steal money from society to get our pockets full._

Suddenly, the blue's PDA rang out. One glance at it and the man clicked his tongue in annoyance. Stuffing it into his pocket, he glared at the sky before turning his cold eyes in his direction.

"Well Misaki, I would like it if you'd go home for the day. There's a strain situation – a beta level strain that's been causing a lot of riots." That got his attention.

"This is HOMRA territory." He frowned, wondering why Kusanagi-san hadn't asked him to deal with the situation already. The taller male sighed.

"Yes Misaki, 100 points." he muttered in a tone that Misaki had often seen associated with young parents trying to talk to their stubborn toddler, "But as I said before, the Blue clan was hired by Kusanagi-san for the purpose of catching this strain. It’s a wishing strain and seeing as the Red clan is filled with impulsive youths with no thoughts about consequences, it's best if you leave it to us."

Oh yes, because Fushimi Saruhiko was the fucking _poster boy_ for level headed decisions and not acting in an impulsive manner.

Never a bad decision in his life.

Like say _burning himself_ to prove a point.

What was Kusanagi-san thinking?

"You blues can go home, let me deal with it." He snapped at his former best friend turned enemy turned - something he couldn't exactly put a finger to.

Ever since the destruction of the slates, Saruhiko and he had talked out their differences. There had been more of crying and yelling and screaming and punching than actual talking if Misaki was completely honest but they had done it and after four years, Misaki could finally call Saru his best friend again.

More or less.

Except now they were both dancing around each other, standing at the edge of...something – Misaki just had no clue what it was. Or rather, he knew exactly what was causing the tense atmosphere and heavy awkward silences but he had no way to solve it.

"Didn't you hear a word of what I said?" Saruhiko sounded exasperated, "Look, just go home, we've closed off this area to civilians...which includes you by the way. The stupid strain is granting wishes left and right and you only need to say the words 'I wish' for her to grant it...tch - what a useless person." Misaki glared at him once again.

"I am not-"

"Misaki, I'm not giving you a choice." The other's voice had taken on a much harsher and threatening tone, "You will stand down and leave or I'm calling Kusanagi-san and am having your King personally escort you home."

The thought of a young girl walking him home while telling him off made him curse out loudly.

"Fine you asshole." He snapped, "You know, sometimes, I wish I'd never met you." Saruhiko's eyes widened comically, mouth agape before a look of pure panic crossed his features.

"Misaki, you absolute idiot! I just told you not to make wishes!" He screamed, and Misaki took a step back confused before everything went black.

* * *

  _He was floating._

_A blank canvas of white surrounded him as he floated in and out of consciousness._

_Where...where am I?_

Hello there, Yata Misaki.

_Misaki whirled around just to see a pale woman standing there nude, with long albino hair and pale blue eyes. Hazel eyes widened as a blush crept up onto his face._

_"Who-who are you?" He muttered, looking away from her, eyes fixing on a point a little above her shoulder, trying to avoid looking at her completely. She smiled._

I am...Wish.

_"Wish?" His eyes narrowed and found hers, "You're that Strain that's been causing problems aren't you?" She ignored him and stared into his hazel orbs, a serious look reflected in her own._

Misaki must remember. _She whispered, slowly beginning to fade away._ Misaki must remember and then not lie. Tell the truth...only then will I return Misaki's precious thing.

_"Wait! What do you mean my precious...my what..." Misaki started just in time to see the woman completely disappear only to be replaced by another figure walking away._

_Walking away._

_His arm raised itself involuntarily._

_How many times had he seen that back?_

Congratulations Yata Misaki...your wish has been granted.

 _"SARUHIKO!"_  

* * *

 20 year old Yata Misaki sat up in his bed, gasping profusely. Sweat trickled down his face and his clothes clung to his back, completely drenched. He ran a hand through his auburn hair, his eyes slowly adjusting to the darkness around him.

"What the fuck was that all about?"

A small frown made its way on his face.

"Saruhiko....who?"

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh Misaki...you absolute idiot of a boy. Well we can all see this spiralling towards hell.


	2. Might Be Too Vicious For Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I met you in summer - you left me in winter.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I broke the second chapter into two parts because it was getting way too long and by that I mean libdvilefbvelwh I couldn't handle all that bullshit together.
> 
> *What do you mean its my bullshit?*
> 
> ^^" I hope you guys like this chapter....it's a bit boring I think. But then again I've read it 40 times so by now it's more boring than my biology text book.
> 
> I'm studying to be a doctor - biology shouldn't be boring to me.
> 
> Why am I discussing biology anyways? In my Sarumi fest entry no less.
> 
> And I'm not exactly sure what people are expecting out of this chapter so sorry if it seemed a bit rushed. Again, after 40 times reading this, I've just dulled out.
> 
> Oooh by the way, a lot of LSW references included. Just saying.

"Misaki, how many times do I have to remind you to come visit?" Misaki rolled his eyes. Balancing a plate of food on his arm while cradling the phone between his ear and shoulder, he clicked his tongue. Setting the plate down on the coffee table, he made his way back to the kitchen to fetch a pair of chopsticks.  

"Yes mom, a million times - but you know I'm busy with my job or I would have been home completely dependent on you right?" His mom snorted on the other end.  

"Well yes, that is true." she replied fondly, "But I wouldn't mind picking up after you for a while if that meant I could see your face around more often. We all miss you loads. Especially Minoru. He's been jumping off the walls screaming something about how he's moving in with you the second he's done with high school like you did."  

Misaki gave a sheepish laugh, a slightly heavy weight settling on his chest.  

"Yeah I barely managed to graduate so you should tell Minoru I'm not the best example for him." His mom chuckled.  

"You know we're proud of you right?" His mom seemed to know what had been bugging him and in minutes made his chest lighten.  

He really should go and visit. It had been a little over a year since he had moved out to live in downtown Shizume. Suddenly, he remembered something he had been meaning to ask his mum for quite some time.  

"Hey mom?" he started, not sure how to phrase his question, "Have I...have I ever talked about someone named Saruhiko when I was a kid?" The question seemed to throw off his mom.  

"What? No-why, is he a friend of yours?" Misaki shrugged, knowing full well she couldn't see it.  

"Nah-just...I just thought I had heard the name before that's all."  

"Saruhiko huh...that's a bit of an odd name to have though." His mom seemed to agree with his own silent thoughts. To be honest, for the past three weeks, all he had been dreaming about was a name. Just a name. There had been no face to associate with it.  

No face...but so many vibrant colors.  

Reds. Blues. Greens.  

Sometimes, he'd get glimpses of places he was sure he'd never seen before. An alleyway. A school. Random streets.   

All followed by a laugh that sent shivers down his spine. A laugh, accompanied by his name, said in a manner which made his skin crawl.  

 _Mi-sa-ki_ _._  

Sometimes, all he'd get was a flash of red but it was in those moments, that the dream seemed to too close to reality.  

The putrid smell burning flesh would jolt him up.  

 _Pride? There goes your pride,_ _Misaki_ _._  

Sometimes he'd see the coldest blue he had ever witnessed.  

 _All I'm interested in is flesh and blood._   

Other times, he'd just hear a voice which set his nerves on the edge, making him nervous all day long, keeping on the edge – waiting for something or someone. His life, which seemed perfect as it was, seemed to lack something badly. Something he needed desperately.  

 _Keep your eyes on me!_  

A name.  

 _Saruhiko_ _!_  

Missing - something was missing. 

"Yeah, I know. Which is why I thought it was strange I wouldn't remember. Ah-never mind. I'll chat with you later okay? Tell Minoru and Megumi I said hi."  

"You can tell them this yourself when you visit us this weekend."  

"But mom-"  

"This. Weekend."  

"Ugh-woman, I'm a twenty year old adult. You can't keep bossing me around."  

"This. Weekend."  

"...Fine..."  

"Good boy. Now go to bed, it's getting late. You shouldn't stay up past your bed time." His mother now seemed to be teasing him. Misaki rolled his eyes and chuckled, forgetting his own wild problems. He bantered with his mom for a little while longer before disconnecting the call and flopping down on the couch, with his dinner gone cold.  

A chill settled within his bones and he rubbed his arms to keep them warm. Picking up his chopsticks, he was once again struck by his own loneliness.  Winter was really an awful time to be by himself.

Really, living alone was the pits.  

 _Can't we rent a room together?_  

His hand froze in mid air, food dangling off the chopsticks as he had another surge of images rush through his mind.  

 _We'll make it our secret headquarters!_  

There.  

There it was again.   

With a frustrated yell, he dropped his chopsticks back into the bowl and pushed his food away, not hungry anymore.  

 _Saruhiko_ _...._  

Flopping backwards, he brought a hand up to cover his eyes.  

 _Just who on earth are you?_  

* * *

 "Yata! Will you please deliver this to a friend of mine?" Misaki looked up from his PDA to nod at his boss.  

"Got it Matsuko-san!" He yelled and grabbed his skateboard. Glancing at the address briefly, he began to whiz through the city, making his way past the crowded streets, cutting through back alleys to complete his job quicker. Halting in front of a cross section, he stared up at the sign above him, a nostalgic feeling washing over him.  

Bar HOMRA.  

 _Mikoto_ _-san, you're so cool!_   

Shrugging off the feeling, he entered the door, the bell ringing above him, signaling his arrival. A young man, about 25 years old stood behind the polished counter top, wiping a glass. Oddly, he seemed to be wearing sunglasses indoors and Misaki wondered why he looked so familiar.  

"Ah - you must be Yata-san?" The man had a Kyoto dialect which sounded oddly comforting to his ears.  

Sort of like how all his problems could be solved if only he'd talk to him about it.  

 _Why don't_ _ya_ _come with us, kids? We'll offer_ _ya_ _a place to let off some steam._  

"Kusanagi-san...." The words slipped past his lips before he could stop them. The blonde bartender paused and peered at him over his glasses, eyes narrowed but a smile still painted on his lips.  

Misaki was suddenly reminded of a cat playing games with it's prey.  

"Strange. Matsuko didn't mention he had informed you of who'd be receiving the shipment." Misaki gulped.  

"I-uhhh-I..."  

"MISAKI!" A suddenly weight threw itself against his waist and he reeled back, trying to keep his balance. Looking down, he was stumped to find a pair of ruby orbs staring at him intently, as if trying to determine something within him. The young girl, who looked about thirteen, pulled back to stare at him through a red marble.  

Misaki wondered what kind of place he had just entered.  

Kusanagi raised his eyebrow.  

"It seems you know Anna." He said casually, all the while not taking his eyes off the skater. Misaki gave him a perplexed look. Anna? Wait...was that the albino girl's name?  

A grunt from behind him made him whirl around as he stared at what he had assumed till of that moment a pile of blankets. A red headed figure emerged and glanced at him sleepily before turning to the other male in the room.  

"Who's the brat Izumo?"   

"Yata-san. He seems to be Anna's...friend?" Misaki shook his head vehemently. No, he was not friends with this girl. He didn't even know her. He-  

 _I believe in you,_ _Misaki_ _._  

Staring into the young girl's eyes, he realized something important.  

The girl knew him.  

More importantly, he knew her.  

"What's going on?" The young girl gave him a stern look. It reminded Misaki of his mother a bit, when he used to forget to do his homework or stay up real late on a week night.  

"Misaki did something stupid." She said, clutching the marble between her fingers and staring at him through it, "Misaki must remember otherwise he's lost." Misaki groaned.  

"Yes, see that's the problem. I keep getting these cryptic messages about how I should remember otherwise my precious thing will be lost but how do I remember whatever it is I forgot?" Anna stared at him once more.  

"Does Misaki want to know?"  

"Oi Anna what's going on?"   

Oh yeah, there were more people in the bar. More _sensible_ people who were probably wondering what was going on right now. Anna turned to give Kusanagi a small smile.  

"I need Izumo's permission to go with Misaki." She muttered. Kusanagi raised an eyebrow.  

"What's going on?" This time, the question came from the red headed man who was watching the scene before him with such a bored look that Misaki thought he'd fall asleep at any given moment.   

He looked awfully cool though.  

 _I was scared of him._  

The sudden thought was like a slap in the face and he took an involuntary step back as a sudden whirl wind of thoughts and images consumed him. 

Black hair, blue eyes.   

 _There goes your pride,_ _Misaki_ _!_   

Burning flesh and a ruined tattoo.  

 _You damned traitor!_  

A resounding clash of metal against metal.  

 _That's right_ _Misaki_ _, keep your eyes on me._  

A broken smile that never quite reached his eyes.  

 _Then say it in a way I understand. Keep saying it until I do understand!_  

A smile lost to time suddenly resurfacing.  

 _Misaki_ _didn't remember me._  

Tears falling.  

 _I remember._  

"Saruhiko..." He whispered, staring off into space. Behind him, he could hear Kusanagi-san telling Anna to 'stay away from strange men' and a small laughter bubbled past his lips.  

Of course.   

Because right now, _he was the strange one_.   

"Thanks Anna!" He yelled, pulling himself out of pulling himself out of the trance, "I think I understand what I have to do now!" The girl in red nodded, a wide smile appearing on her face.  

"I will help Misaki look for him!" She said, looking determined. Homra's vanguard felt a rush of pride and affection for his King.  

His King.  

 _Wait..._  

He turned slowly to face the man on the couch.  

"Mikoto-san...you're still alive?"  

* * *

 "So you're telling me...that you're not from here?" Kusanagi was clearly in desperate need of a cigarette. His fingers twitched and he had to mentally berate himself thrice before he stopped himself. Staring at the two young faces before him, he turned to look at his King. 

"So Mikoto...what do you make of this?" In retrospect, Kusanagi was amazed that Mikoto had managed to keep such a straight face throughout the story. Of course, sometime between the story, Totsuka had joined them only to have Yata fall out of his seat yelling his disbelief at him being alive as well. 

So both had died. 

Interesting. 

Now if this Yata kid had come up to him and spun this wild tale, Kusanagi would have figured the kid was on something - like meth or what not. But the fact remained that it was _Anna_ who was supporting him so that changed things a bit. Mostly because Anna seemed to know the story as well as the kid did. 

"So King died because he was avenging my death?" Totsuka didn't look as displeased as he should. Kusanagi whacked him on the top of his head before turning to look at Yata. 

"Look, erm - Yata-san." he began, finally caving in and pulling out a cigarette, "I understand this must be hard on you...but do you really expect us to help when you basically told us that catching this strain or finding this boy will result in two of us dying?" Yata gave him a blank look. 

No, so the thought hadn't crossed his mind. 

"Look," Kusanagi began, trying to make the other man see reason, "Think about it, Yata-san. You said it yourself that this boy made you quit your studies. Right now, you're with a stable job and a high school diploma and your family ties are strong. You're saving up for college and have been offered a sports scholarship. The men you looked up to are still alive and well and I'm sure no one will have any problems about you joining HOMRA – it's not like you'll be new to our work. It might actually work in our favor. Also, this other kid, Saruhiko? He's clearly done some pretty shit things that you can just forget about here-"  

 _Everyone forgets. It's easier to walk away tha_ _n be abandoned._  

"I need to look for him." the young man said, getting up suddenly. Totsuka opened his mouth to stop him but Yata didn't let him cut in, "I need to find him at least. He won't remember me." The thought was like a shard of ice wedged deep inside his heart. "But I'll see where to go from that point on wards. Right now...my main objective is finding him." Kusanagi turned to look at the young strain amongst them. 

"Are you going to help him?" _Even if it means Totsuka and_ _Mikoto_ _will die?_ The unasked question hung between them like a knife. Kusanagi felt bad about placing so much pressure on her but he had to know. Anna hesitated. 

"It...would not be fair to Saruhiko to leave him hanging." 

Ah, so that was it. 

"Must be one amazing kid that Anna-chan willingly wants to look for him that badly." Totsuka said brightly, despite Anna's admittance. Yata nodded, a sincere smile adorning his face. 

"He's the best. He's the smartest and coolest guy I know! Actually, he's my best friend and we joined HOMRA at the same time together and then..." The rest of his words trailed off as a thoughtful look crossed his face. Anna's face twisted in a look of pain and she reached out to grab his hand. 

"Misaki..." 

"No, I'm not sad - no, don't give me that look Anna, I'm fine! We worked it out remember? Well most of it. I was just wondering...." A grimace found itself wedged on his face, "Ahh never mind forget it." Anna tugged at his hand, tilting her head questioningly. He sighed. "I was just thinking....the Blues could probably help. Seeing as how that Blue bastard stole Saruhiko..." 

Kusanagi did not like where this was going. 

"Say Yata-san," he began lightly, "By Blue bastard, are you referring to the Blue King?" Yata scowled. 

"Who else?" he muttered looking away, "That bastard stole Saru right from under your nose - or so you'd say when you were drunk enough. I think you wanted him to take over your spot as the informant and strategist in case you retired." Kusanagi felt a surge of irritation flow through him. 

Why that sneaky- 

Kusanagi didn't even know this Saruhiko kid and he felt robbed. He didn't even want to know what his other self, the one had _actually been_ robbed, felt like. 

"Reisi will help." That got a reaction out of Mikoto. 

"Since when are you on first name basis with that stuck up priss?" he prodded the girl. Anna gave him a small sad smile. There was something both Yata and Anna were keeping from them. Kusanagi was sure of it. The way those two had halted midway several sentences during their stories, making rough eye contact before pulling away as if coming to an agreement of sorts. 

"He will help." she repeated, with such conviction that Yata grinned back at her, raising his fist. 

Anna's smaller one touched Yata's much larger and rougher one and once again, the HOMRA trio were struck by a feeling that the two weren't being completely honest. 

* * *

 "Pardon my manners, but I refuse assist you on this wild goose chase."  

Misaki felt his heart plummet down to his shoes. 

Of course. Of course the Blue bastard wouldn't help them. He was just a fucking bureaucrat who didn't give a damn about his subordinates. At least now when everything went back to normal, he'd have proof to shove in the monkey's face. 

 _If_ everything went back to normal. 

Anna didn't even flinch. 

"Reisi-" 

"Oya? What blunt forwardness for a red clansmen." 

"Please. It's for Fushimi." Misaki wanted to believe that the spark of interest in Munakata's eyes was a trick of the light because why on earth would he remember when Misaki hadn't- 

"Fushimi-kun?" he began, pushing his glasses up his face, "Interesting. Alright, we at Scepter 4 will help you locate this young man-" 

Misaki felt like cheering- 

"-only if you promise that he'll be allowed to join the Blue clan." 

-and now he felt like punching a wall. 

What even was this sneaky prick? 

"Fine!" Misaki snapped, trying to keep his anger in check, "That stupid monkey wouldn't have it any other way anyways so fine!" Munakata gave him one of his creepy sparkly smiles which Misaki had once heard Saruhiko associate with natural disasters - he couldn't say he completely disagreed with that. 

"It is settled then. You are all dismissed and I will have Awashima-san call up Kusanagi-san with information when we finally dig it up." Anna smiled. 

"Thank you Reisi. We will be waiting for your information." she curtsied as she began to leave. All the rest began to follow but not before Munakata had his final parting shot. 

"Anything for the future Red King." 

And so Kusanagi discovered what the two young ones were hiding from them. 

* * *

 "Future Red King huh." Mikoto murmured the minute they were back at the bar. 

Anna was steadfastly ignoring their eyes. Totsuka broke out into a grin. 

"So now we have two Kings?" He asked, excited, looking like a child who was given a free toy, "This is so amazing. I'm sure Anna-chan made a great King." 

"She's the best." Misaki pitched in. Kusanagi needed a drink. A really strong one. He pulled out a glass and a bottle of his strongest liquor, mixing himself something to take the edge off. His thoughts were a mess as he stared at Anna pull out a map and place her marbles on top. 

So that's what the extra two marbles had been for. 

Yata Misaki and Fushimi Saruhiko. 

Kusanagi had wondered when she had just gone and bought two more, not answering their questions except for a small, "They're important." She had placed them in her bedside drawers, away from the rest but always within reach. 

He kept an eye on the HOMRA child as she drew out her powers from deep within and began to work her magic. One of the marbles began to glow red. Slowly rising in the air, it burned brighter and brighter in front of the strain's glowing eyes before it shattered into a million tiny pieces. 

Kusanagi didn't have time to react. 

He didn't have time to lunge forward and protect the young girl from danger. Mikoto had put himself in front of Totsuka, protecting him from a shower of sharp shards headed in their direction. But Anna didn't have any shield in front of her. 

They weren't quick enough to save her. 

 _But Yata was_. 

Kusanagi's hazel eyes widened as the young man darted quickly and wrapped his arms around her, seemingly ready for the danger. Red aura surrounded them as the shards melted away to nothingness. 

Up until this point, Kusanagi still had his doubts and the credibility about the story was very broken. 

But Yata Misaki did it. 

He was truly HOMRA's vanguard. 

And Anna was his King. 

* * *

 "Misaki, he's gone."  

"HE CAN'T BE GONE!"  

"The marble-"  

"ARE YOU SAYING HE NEVER EXISTED? THAT WASN'T MY WISH!"  

 "I don't know." Kusanagi hadn't ever seen Anna is such a state of despair and desperation. Her words, although still calm and collected and nothing like Yata's frantic cries, were laced with a hidden undertone of fear and pain that he had never detected before. Totsuka decided to intervene. 

"Now look," the pacifist began, holding out his hands, "We're all pretty tired so how about we all go back to our beds. Yata-san, you should go back home. You can return tomorrow and we'll work on this okay?" Yata opened his mouth to argue but probably thought better of it. His shoulders drooped low in defeat and he began to drag his feet out of the bar only to be held back by a small pair of hands. 

"Misaki, stay." Anna said and that's how Kusanagi ended up giving his extra room upstairs to a complete stranger. 

Totsuka decided tonight was the night to hold a summer slumber party. In his bar. In the middle of winter.  

Fuck this guy, he was better off dead. 

Okay, not. It was clearly too soon to make jokes about it. 

"So Yata-san..." Totsuka began. Misaki, who had been eating some cookies that Anna had made gave him a raised eyebrow. The dirty blonde smiles a bit tightly. 

"I've been wondering since you came but never got around asking...." 

Yata gave him a curious look and Totsuka continued to look a bit morbid. 

"Is your name really Misaki?" And there it was, classic Totsuka-ness. Really, Kusanagi couldn't completely and honestly say he was all that surprised that the blonde was dead. 

He was so obviously just walking into danger all the time. 

Misaki, on his part, had just chocked on the bit of cookie he had just taken in his mouth. Spluttering, he began to explain something about his mother and her weird name system for his siblings and him. Kusanagi felt a small smile tug and the corner of his lips. 

Really, he wished Yata wouldn't want to destroy all of this. 

* * *

"You might want to sit down for this." 

Kusanagi, who had the phone on speaker, could feel the dread emitting from the phone. Beside him, Yata paled considerably. Munakata Reisi had called them with some 'urgent news' which sounded ominous enough as it is without his extra added warnings.  

"I believe it was Yata Misaki who had asked about this boy's information?" Munakata inquired. Yata nodded before remembering the man couldn't see him and he muttered out a quick 'Yes'. 

"This boy-" 

"He's not a boy technically but a man now I guess." Yata interjected. There was a pause. 

"Well, I wouldn't say that exactly." Munakata said, sounding almost sincerely regretful, "Saruhiko Fushimi died when he was 7 years old."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry.
> 
> *bowing in front of saruhiko* I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry I'm sorry.


	3. But I'll Shout It Out

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The four stages of grief: _denial, anger, depression, acceptance._

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so finally I got around editing this _half_ of that chapter I split. And when I say half, I mean, "No, it's not as long as the last one but I'm fairly certain it's nice so yeah enjoy."
> 
> Also this chapter might lack a certain sadness factor but that's only because I couldn't seem to feel the sadness. I don't know. It might be just me though. I tried to make it emotional and tear jerking but it lacks emotion. Just a fair heads up.

**i, Denial.**

* * *

"You're lying." The words fell out of his mouth before he could stop them. His eyes fixed themselves on the phone placed on the top of the bar. "You're lying." This time it was said with more conviction, his eyes narrowing dangerously. Obviously, the Blue King was lying. There was no fucking way that shitty monkey was dead. Absolutely no fucking way. No, he'd know if Saruhiko died. _He'd know_ , _right?_

"Yata-chan..." Kusanagi began, his mouth twisted in grimace, face set in a look of _pity_ as he reached out and placed a comforting hand on his shoulder but he roughly shrugged it off stepping away from him - away from the _phone_ , away from what that bastard was saying. 

Lies.

It wasn't possible.

"Misaki." Anna might have reached out to grab his hand but he didn't see - didn't _care_  - as he stumbled backwards, eyes darting around the room, drifting from one face to the other, body starting to quiver. Totsuka stepped forward, his face showing clear signs of - what? Remorse? Sadness? For _what_? _Saruhiko wasn't dead_ goddamit! Why was he lying? Why was everyone -

"I have to go." the words barely left his lips before he darted outside the bar, running, ignoring the yells and cries of the others behind him. He needed to get away. He needed to _find_ Saruhiko. He needed to find that piece of shit and drag his ass back to Scepter 4 and _prove_ to Munakata Reisi that he was _wrong_ \- prove to the whole fucking world that he was wrong. Because what he was saying was _not right_. 

Because Saruhiko _wasn't_ dead.

His steps faltered as he blinked, trying to make his vision clearer but it didn't amount to anything except increase the burning itch in them.

No, he wouldn't cry.

Another step in forward.

His lower lip trembled.

 _Get a grip on yourself_ , he mentally hissed at himself. _Don't you dare cry. He was lying! LYING! He wants to keep you away from Saruhiko!_

Saruhiko wasn't dead.

His chest tightened as his breathing became labored.

He _couldn't_ be dead.

Gasping.

He _shouldn't_ be dead.

Lies.

_Saruhiko._

* * *

  **ii, Anger.**

* * *

 

Misaki growled as he threw another plate against the wall, eyes seeing red. His surroundings were in shatters. Misaki had taken everything - everything that was his, always had been _just_ _his_ and had never been _their's_  because they never had a chance - and had thrown it against the wall, screaming his throat raw. He didn't care what his neighbors thought of him. Didn't care because they didn't matter. _Nothing mattered._ Screw them all. Screw everything! All that he cared about was - 

 _Saruhiko._  

Another choked sob managed to escape past his lips and he clenched his teeth together in order to hold back the tears - no, that fucking bastard didn't deserve them. 

How dare he! How _dare_ he go ahead and die on his own, without - without letting Misaki understand even a bit of him. How dare he just leave Misaki behind. He had promised - promised never to do that again. Promised.

_Saruhiko._

_It's not his fault now is it?_ a cruel voice taunted him maliciously _You're the one to blame aren't you?_ And finally, a single tear traced its way down his face. 

* * *

  **iii, Depression**

* * *

 

"Misaki." Anna banged on the front door with her tiny fists, looking openly concerned, "Misaki, open the door."

"Go away." a muffled reply came from inside. The young strain blinked back her tears and took a shaky step forward. No, she needed to be strong. She needed to be strong for Misaki. Kusanagi, who was standing next to her, placed a gentle hand on her shoulder as she turned to look up at him, feeling helpless. It had been three days since they - she - had last seen or heard from Misaki and she was worried. His marble had been glowing faintly and Anna knew he was hurting. She wanted to stop it.

She wanted to help.

"Izumo, make him talk to me. Please." But the blonde only shook his head sadly and led her away. The red head obviously needed to mourn.

Inside, Misaki sat in ruins. Broken bottles and plates, smashed furniture, ripped clothing. All his, always just _his_. There was no mug placed on the counter that matched the one shattered on the floor. There was no lonely towel resting in the cupboard, identical to the one shredded at his feet.

They didn't have a set.

_They didn't belong._

He didn't need them.

_He didn't want them._

He wanted...

_Saruhiko._

* * *

  **iv, Acceptance**

* * *

 

He was dead.

Saruhiko _was_ dead.

Misaki stared ahead of him with unseeing eyes as exhaustion finally over rode his senses and he collapsed onto his couch.

_Saruhiko._

The finality of it hit him like a tidal wave, forcing him to take long shuddering breaths as the pressure inside his chest increased. His heart felt as if someone was squeezing it slowly, the pain almost unbearable but no tears ran down his cheeks - his eyes were uncannily dry. A cold feeling settled in, chilling him to the bone as he wrapped his arms round himself to warm his body but nothing changed as he began shivering in earnest.

Saruhiko was dead.

And it was all _his fucking fault_.

* * *

 

 _He dreamed about Saruhiko that night. The raven haired man was walking away -_ _ag_ _ain_ _. This time however, Misaki chased him._  

Chase after me. 

 _Faster. faster._  

Wait!

 _No matter how fast he ran, Saruhiko seemed to be_ _slipping_ _further away._  

Remember... 

* * *

 

Misaki smiled at his mum through tired eyes as she gently pushed his hair away from his face. 

"Misaki, won't you tell me what's wrong?" she whispered. Shaking his head, he nodded towards the direction of his previous room. 

"I'm guessing that's Minoru's room now." he said lightly. His mother, for her part, didn't probe further so as to why her son had suddenly shown up at their doorstep, looking every bit of the lost child he was. It really was for the better because he hadn't been in the mood to tell her anything - didn't want to talk, only sought out the comfort and protection his mother had always provided. Now here they were hours later, with him lying on the couch, with his head resting on her lap. Sakura Yata shook her head.  

"Nope." she grinned, "He refused to touch it. Something about it being the shrine dedicated to his older brother." 

Oh, so Minoru looked up to him in this version of reality huh? 

Misaki chalked it up as one more thing that he would never wish for again. He didn't want it - didn't want Minoru's appraising looks, knowing they had come at the cost of the condescending ones he had gotten so used to over the years. 

 _Saruhiko..._  

His heart clenched painfully.

"Mom." Shit, his throat was closing up, "Mom - I need- mom, I need to tell you something." His face must have been looking down right _devastated_ because an alarmed look had started to creep into her eyes. His throat tightened some more as a cold weight began pressing against his chest. He needed to tell her. He _had_ to. Because he knew, if he didn't do it now, he'd never get the courage to do it. He sat up straight, his entire body trembling, "Mom...please...help...I..." He didn't know where to begin. Words seemed to disappear from his mind as he stared at his mother in desperation. Sakura's eyes softened and she wrapped her arms around her oldest son protectively. 

"Misaki, please don't hide from me." 

Yata Misaki broke down and collapsed in his mother's embrace, tears finally flowing freely down his face.

* * *

 "So this Saruhiko person is your friend." Sakura began, looking a bit blown away. Misaki didn't blame her. He sat next to her, sniffling as she handed him another tissue. For the past hour or so, all Misaki had done was talk and cry. His throat was so sore, he knew he was going to have trouble speaking later but in the end, he had told his mother everything. 

About the clans. About Saruhiko. About the wish and how it had changed _everything_ he had ever known. 

"Yes he is - was." Misaki didn't know how to forget the fact his best friend was dead.

He was gone.

Another whimper tore from his lips as his mother reached out and stroked his hair.

Sakura nodded and seemed to go off into deep thought. Misaki stared at her in apprehension, trying to decipher whether she actually believed him or was humoring him. He had to admit the things he was saying were pretty far fetched and in normal circumstances, he wouldn't have believed himself either. But Saruhiko was dead and nothing made sense and the only thing Misaki was sure of was that Misaki was sure of nothing anymore.

_Saruhiko._

Sakura quietly stared at him, silently reading his every movement. 

"Misaki must be over looking something important." she said finally, and Misaki's chest felt a quick sharp sense of relief. His mother believed him. She trusted his word. Tears sprang into his eyes once more and Sakura gave him a smile, knowing what her child was thinking. "Did you think I wouldn't take your word for this? My baby comes and tells me something for the first time in years and you think I'd doubt him?" she asked gently. "Misaki, I trust you and I want you to trust me as well." He nodded. Faintly, he wondered how hard Saru would laugh if he saw him sitting there right now - 20 and sobbing to his mother. And HOMRA - oh God, Eric for one, would never let him live it down. 

Homra. 

Oh yeah, then there was - 

"There's also this matter of two of you friends coming back to life." Sakura pointed out and once again, Misaki was glad they were on the same wavelength, "It's clear that something must have happened that saved this Totsuka-san otherwise there would be...problems." Then she smiled, "Perhaps, this is all like a puzzle Misaki needs to solve." The auburn haired man nodded and gave his mother a small smile. 

"Saru was the one good at puzzles." he said in a small voice. Sakura smiled at him fondly.

"Yes, and I'm sure right now he's waiting for you to help him out so go out there and do what you do best!"

"Thanks mom." he whispered, "I-" His words got cut off by a yawn, "I'm glad I finally talked to you." Sakura's face told him everything he needed to know, calming him down as he once again, began slipping into the realms of sleep except this time, he knew there would be no dreams or nightmares to haunt him. 

"Misaki?" his mother's voice seemed so far way. "Misaki, I just remembered something...maybe you should have talked to _him_." One bleary eye opened to look at the female figure before him. 

"Hmmm?" _Oh yes Misaki, very responsive_. 

"You know, that childhood friend you have? Kamamoto Rikio." 

Really now - what would he do without his mum. 

* * *

 

"WHAT DO YOU MEAN ' _WHAT'S HOMRA_ '?" Misaki stared at Kamamoto in absolute horror and fascination. Kamamoto, who wasn't a homra member. Kamamoto, who was standing in front of him, looking like a grade A nerd. Kamamoto, who was rubbing the back of his head in pain because Misaki had hit him on the head. 

"Misaki!" he complained, "I thought we got over the physical violence stage when you caused us both to get beat up by those upperclassmen in high school." Misaki blinked. What the fuck - 

"Did you just call me what I think you called me?" he began advancing towards the blonde, looking down right murderous. The taller male gulped visibly and raised his hands up in the air in mock surrender. 

"W-w-wait Mi-Yata!" he called out in alarm and panic, looking absolutely confused, "I thought you said it was okay for me to call you Misaki?" The shorter male's eyes narrowed. 

No fucking way. 

Never. 

The only person who was allowed to call him Misaki was _Saruhiko_. 

And he was _dead_. 

Oh right, that.

 _Focus Misaki!_ a voice that sounded deliciously familiar, chided him in the back of his mind, _Don't go about doing things like an idiot._

Okay, back to the topic at hand. 

"Kamamoto - are you sure you've never heard of HOMRA before?" The blonde scratched his head, looking thoughtful. His body was slim even though it was winter and _apparently_ , this Kamamoto got fat in the summer - Misaki just tossed it into the things that would always escape him about the fucking dimension he was currently stuck in. It had weirded him out enough. Literally nothing else could surprise him anymore. Besides, his normal Kamamoto was weird as it was.

"Now that you mention it," Misaki's eyes zeroed in on the man in front of him, "Wasn't Homra the name of that gang in Shizume town?" Brown eyes narrowed at him disapprovingly. "Yata, are you getting involved with a gang? You really should be more careful - I don't want to have to explain to your mother why you died due to a bat to the head." Really, Misaki wanted to laugh. The irony of the situation made him want to laugh so badly. 

But he didn't. 

Because Saruhiko was still dead. 

"Stupid Saruhiko, fucking dying and making me sad." he muttered out darkly, cursing under his breath and kicking stones roughly. 

"Wait - you know _Saruhiko_? Saruhiko... _Fushimi_? How?" Misaki's head snapped up so fast his neck might have cracked. Reaching out, he grabbed the front of his friend's jacket and yanked him down to him own eye level. His heart pounded inside his chest as he stared into the other's eyes with wonder.

"Better question is," he began, trying to sound calm but being betrayed by the shaking grip he had on the other, "How the fuck do _you_ know him?" Kamamoto's eyes drooped low as he looked away for a while, not wanting to meet Yata's face. When his eyes met the younger man's once more, Misaki was taken aback by the overwhelming emotions that were contained in that gaze.

"Saruhiko Fushimi," he began, eyes unnaturally bright as he swallowed thickly, "...was the boy who died saving my life." 

And really, here Misaki thought nothing else in this fucked up place could surprise him anymore. 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Ah! I think I'm beginning to enjoy tormenting Misaki. This is getting fun.


	4. Desperate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Misaki remembers what both forgot.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Bet no one saw this one coming. I'll admit, even I didn't see it coming. But I thought it would be nice if I completed this on Sarumi Fest :3 I hope everyone enjoys this~

Misaki stared at his friend with wide eyes and a slackened jaw only for Kamamoto to nod in the direction of a nearby cafe.

"Let's go and sit there." he suggested, walking towards it. Misaki only nodded and followed silently behind him, his mind a whirlpool of jumbled thoughts and unasked questions. Saruhiko...odd as it seemed, had sacrificed himself for _Kamamoto_. Putting aside the fact that this definitely topped the ‘What the fuck’ charts of this reality, Misaki was confounded when it had happened. And _how_. When he was back to his rightful timeline, Misaki wasn't going to lose an opportunity like this to tease the younger into oblivion.

 _Not when_ , his mind traitorously whispered, _If. If you go back._

His heart squeezed painfully but he pushed the feeling back, trying to focus on the matter at hand.

When they were both settled, a waiter came to take their order and since it would look really rude, they each ordered a glass of juice. A quick glance around showed that the café didn’t have much of a clientele, just an odds customer here and there. Misaki fidgeted in his seat and faced Kamamoto squarely only to have him sigh and slouch into his seat.

"Mi-Yata-san," a wave of relief and familiarity washed over him as he stared back at the taller man in front of him, listening intently "Do you remember the time...back in elementary school, when I was in the second grade - do you remember when we went all the way over to that rich ass neighborhood?" Misaki frowned, trying to comb through his jumbled mess of memories, sorting them out until his eyes brightened.

That day.

"Oh yeah!" he called out excitedly, "It's that day with the bus incident right?" Kamamoto gave him a small wry smile before his eyes focused on the glass of juice that had been set in front of him, all traces of that smile wiped from his face.

"Yeah," he said, slouching even lower, "It's the day you told me to go get a bus ride home because you were just gonna call your mom so she could pick you up along with your bike."

_What?_

Misaki stared at Kamamoto, puzzled.

"No, that's not what happened." he said slowly, trying to not sound accusing, "I did get onto that bus with you remember?" It was Kamamoto's turn to look baffled.

"No, you didn't." the other insisted, eyes narrowing slightly as he frowned, "I remember because-" the rest of his words trailed off as his eyes became a bit unfocused and his mouth curved downwards. "I will always remember..." Kamamoto said, whispering now - it's a good thing Misaki inherited his hearing powers from his mother. Misaki waited but the older boy said nothing more, his eyes staring at nothing at all.

Misaki was confused.

So he hadn't ever gotten on that bus with Kamamoto? Why? It wasn't anything special - nothing to do with this messed up world.

_"The reason I joined HOMRA was so I could be as strong as Yata-san back then. You were so cool standing up to that gunman."_

Right. So that's why Kamamoto wasn't a part of HOMRA. And Misaki had always thought Kamamoto was lying just to make him happy.  Of course, that didn't explain why Kamamoto had brought up the incident in the first place.

And why hadn't Misaki been on the bus? He should have been. His mother was right; he had been missing something. Something in his gut told him that he was close to the answer he was looking for - he just needed to probe in the right direction.

"Oh yeah, I forgot..." he lied, rubbing the back of his head, laughing nervously, eyes trained on the silent hunched figure before him, "So what happened then?" Kamamoto's gaze snapped back at his face and Misaki had to make a conscious effort not to reel back in shock.

Kamamoto's eyes were shining with unshed tears.

"I never told you...because I thought you'd feel guilty or something because of your stupid hero-complex," Kamamoto said, hands gripping the glass so tightly, Misaki feared it would break, "But that bus - that bus was hijacked."

 _No shit._ Misaki thought, forcing himself not to roll his eyes. Externally, he widened his hazel orbs, pretending to be shocked.

"What, no way!" And if he sounded anything less than surprised than he was sort of glad Kamamoto was in no state to notice. The older man nodded.

"Yeah, sorry I never told you." Misaki waved his hand impatiently. 

"Irrelevant. Get back to what happened next." He urged, wanting to know what happened.

"Yeah, so when I got onto the bus, this guy, he randomly grabbed me and this one silent brooding kid from the back. You know, to hold us hostage." Kamamoto's hands were shaking very badly now, his entire body sitting stiff, "He took us to the b-back of the bus."

In his mind, Misaki could still see that day clearly. The way that bastard had grabbed Kamamoto, when he had hauled him at the back, with a gun pressed against his temple. He remembered feeling cold and scared and angry at his helplessness.

"And then-then the other kid pulled out some fireworks from his bag and handed them to me."

That brave smart kid. Misaki didn't remember his face all that well, just that he had dark hair and wore spectacles.

"He barely managed to pass me the lighter when the gunman caught us."

Misaki remembered forgetting his fear and being consumed in a state of desperateness when he saw the man pick up the kid by his collar, pointing the gun at him. At that moment, nothing had mattered except getting him away from danger.

"And then-" Kamamoto's voice cracked, before he took a giant gulp of air, trying to steady himself. A single tear ran down his face. "Then he told me to light them up and throw them at the bastard."

And Kamamoto never got to do it. Because at that moment, Misaki had come barreling in, tackling the bad guy, freeing that kid so he could throw the fireworks himself.

Misaki had come...

But Misaki hadn't been on the bus.

Something began to coil up inside the redhead, dark and cold.

Misaki hadn't been on the bus.

He missed what Kamamoto said next, not entirely sure why his body was trembling.

Misaki hadn't saved that boy.

Black hair.

Spectacles.

_Remember Misaki...._

Black hair that swept across messily against his forehead.

Remember...

Blue eyes and a small hesitant smile.

_Misaki..._

"Saruhiko." the words sounded foreign in his mouth. Kamamoto was saying something but Misaki didn't care - didn't care because he remembered.

_Misaki must be missing something important._

Tears filled his eyes and Misaki had to blink fervently to keep them from falling down his cheeks. No, he couldn't cry in front of Kamamoto. He had to stay strong. He had to.

"And that's how I found out his name was Fushimi Saruhiko." Kamamoto finished, looking pale and distraught, "I just wish- I just wish I had been strong enough to do something you know." He gulped and shot Misaki and teary grin, "I bet if Misaki had been there, he'd have been so cool and would have been able to save everyone. Even Saruhiko. And then we would have all been friends." No. This time, it was Misaki's body that shook with emotions. They wouldn't have been. Because they would both walk away, not knowing, not remembering.

A bitter taste had settled in his mouth.

He needed to get away.

"I need to go." he said thickly, getting to his feet, swaying a bit. Ignoring Kamamoto’s worried calls, he swiftly made his way out of the café, gritting his teeth tightly, hoping he wouldn’t cry. He didn’t even have a destination in mind but kept walking, not knowing how to handle the load of information that had been dumped on him.

Saruhiko was dead.

He was dead because Misaki hadn’t been there to save him.

He was dead because Misaki made a stupid wish.

Coming to halt, he stared at the building in front of him.

Broken, run down.

Definitely not where two middle schoolers should have been squatting. A small smile tugged at the corner of his lips as he fiddled with the handle a bit and entered the tiny place he had rented with Saruhiko all those years ago. Crossing the threshold, he looked around, suddenly lost in the thought that this place had never seen any of his and Saruhiko’s memories. These walls had never been covered in posters. The loft above had never been occupied by a sulky teen who shared his dreams of taking down the world. Tears pooled in his eyes once more as he collapsed to his knees, just staring at the place which held everything and nothing at the same time.

Sorry – I am so sorry.

Saruhiko – despite constantly believing that they didn’t exit – had died a hero. He had done what he himself had refused to believe in and helped someone while being genuinely concerned for someone else’s well-being.

The irony of it wanted to make Misaki laugh but the tears wouldn’t stop and the pain wouldn’t go away. Dragging himself to and upright position against the wall, he stared ahead blankly.

_So what now._

He had the answers. Now what was he supposed to do with them?

_Where are you Saruhiko, you bastard! I need your help!_

Except, he knew exactly where Saruhiko was.

Buried six feet under the ground.

_You should visit him._

He didn’t know who whispered that in his ear – or who’s voice it was he heard. But it made him slowly get to his feet and make his way to the outside world again. Casting one last look at his old – their old home, he closed the door firmly behind him.

For the second time in his life, their small world held inside shattered into a million pieces behind that closed door.

* * *

 

“I need to know where he’s buried.”

Standing before the Blue King, awkwardly shifting from one foot to another, he stared resolutely at the bespectacled man, who was watching him with unblinking eyes. Munakata Reisi tilted his head.

“You wish for me to disclose an information you shouldn’t be privy to?” Misaki gulped. He had known this was coming. For one he should have considered himself very lucky that the blue king had even granted him an audience – what was he, if not the HOMRA vanguard or Saruhiko’s best friend.

You are worth so much more Misaki.

And he believed that. He had a high school diploma. He had a stable job, was working to save up for a college. His family loved him, he had friends.

Mikoto san and Totsuka san were alive.

But –

“You…you probably have heard the story from Kusanagi san.” Misaki said, looking at the other man in the eyes, not balking under the scrutinizing gaze. Munakata nodded.

“I have indeed been in contact with the HOMRA bar tender. Though it confuses me why your story seems to have affected the outcome of a certain Red King.” Misaki looked away.

“I have a theory about that…”

“Oya?” Misaki blinked at the realization that the Blue King looked intrigued. “Do share.”

“Well, Totsuka san died because Kusanagi san wasn’t there to protect him. And that’s really because Kusanagi san believed no one would harm him because HOMRA had grown so much. But-“ he gulped, continuing on, trying to not show how his hands were shaking. “But with Kamamoto – without some of the founding members – without shit even me or Saruhiko, Kusanagi san would have never let down his defenses like that. He’d be on the constant look out. That’s – that’s what I believe.” Violet eyes studied him for a long while before sharply turning to look at the puzzle that was spread out before him.

“That is quite the deduction Yata Misaki kun.” He said finally, after what seemed like the longest pause recorded inhuman history. “Personally I believe that there might be some involvement from the Green clan as well, but we may never know.” Misaki nodded, not sure where the conversation was going. Mentally deciding to go to Fushimi’s old house and search for clues, he began to say good bye to the Blue King.

“Farewell Yata Misaki kun. And it might interest you to know, I cannot give out a private detail of someone else’s life.” Misaki nodded once more as the other continued on. “One of my subordinates almost died when I became the Blue King. I always thought that if he had, I would have buried him in the cemetery near the south side of the city.”

“What are you-“ All the pieces fell into place as he bowed low before rushing out of the doors, almost running into the blonde woman coming inside, startling her greatly.

“I won’t forget this you shitty four eyed bastard!”

“Fufufu~ Awashima kun, I think I like that boy.”

“Captain, please don’t say such absurd things.”

* * *

 

Fushimi, Saruhiko.

Misaki blinked at the empty grave stone. No words of how he was a loved son. Nothing. The grave was unkempt and uncared for. The area around it was overgrown with weeds and it had been hard for him to locate the grave in the first place. Moments before giving up and angrily cursing the blue king in his head, Misaki had nearly walked off but a small hint of gray had caught his eye and he had followed it to the most miserable excuse for a grave ever.

If not for a single dead rose on it, Misaki would have assumed no one had visited for over a decade.

_Saruhiko…_

Rage Misaki hadn’t felt in ages against his best friend’s parents surfaced once more and he clenched his teeth together, tears once more blinding his vision, falling like rain over his cheeks.

_Saruhiko…_

Those bastards.

How dare they.

How dare they leave the greatest person on this planet leave as if he wasn’t loved.

Goddamit, Saru was loved!

Maybe not by his parents. But Saruhiko had proved a very long time ago he did not need the people who created him – he was quite capable of surviving – well not on his own, but without the, at the very least. And he had so many other people in his life now.

He had his clan and King! And Anna and Kusanagi san! And him!

Saruhiko always, always had him.

“I love you Saruhiko.”

The words slipped out of his lips with such ease that he started. Love. He didn’t really love Saruhiko did he? A small feeling began to grow in his chest as he stared at the grave stone in front of him, a heavy blush staining his cheeks. Before he could even try to talk himself out of it, the realization hit him with a force of a thousand ton of bricks. Oh God – this was just –

_Tell the truth._

Is this what the strain was talking about? Was he supposed to confess? Getting redder and redder at the thought, he coughed. Here goes nothing…

“Saruhiko!” he said out loud, facing the gravestone, “I love you!”

“Who on earth are you?” Whirling around, his eyes widened at the figure standing there, eyebrow raised at him.

“Y-y-you!”

Aya Oogai frowned at him, holding up a bouquet of roses.

**Author's Note:**

> Stay tuned for more. *dun dun dun*
> 
> *I'm such a fail I'm sorry for existing*
> 
> Anyways, visit my tumblr for random headcanons and whacky story plot: [lordsatanismycat](http://lordsatanismycat.tumblr.com/)


End file.
